Spiritual Direction

What is Spiritual Direction?

Spiritual direction is the process of working with a guide who accompanies you in your pursuit of holiness. A spiritual director does exactly that — he or she directs you, sometimes for a short period (such as during a retreat) and sometimes long-term. A spiritual direction session may include many topics: your prayer life, movements of consolation and desolation, spiritual joys and difficulties. All of this requires trust, humility, and honesty. If you are serious about growing in holiness, finding a spiritual director is a wonderful step.

How to Find A Spiritual Director?

• Pray
• Start with Who You Know
• Ask Around
• Search the Web

First Meeting with Spiritual Director

When meeting with a potential director for the first time, don’t hesitate to ask questions about their background and experience. This helps you discern whether they are a good fit. Before meeting, ask — by phone or email — about their prayer life or favorite devotions. If they are a lay person, ask where they received their training, and research the institution that formed them.

What if You Don’t Click?

If you feel a director isn’t right for you, it is perfectly acceptable to look for another. Personalities and styles differ, and sometimes a director simply isn’t the best match. Don’t be afraid to be selective. Finding a spiritual director is similar to finding a therapist or doctor — you want someone who is competent and someone with whom you feel comfortable.

Praying for Your Spiritual Director

Once you’ve found a good spiritual director, make the relationship fruitful for both of you. If your first session goes well, show initiative by requesting another meeting. Follow their guidance. Pray as they recommend. Pray for them. If they suggest books, read them. Be honest and open. Your director is (hopefully) wiser than you — take their counsel to heart.

Compensation and Spiritual Direction

Most priests and religious do not ask for compensation for spiritual direction; it is part of their vocation and ministry. While payment may not be expected, it is always appreciated. There is no set amount you “must” give — offer what you can. You may give after each session or periodically.



Lay spiritual directors, although they may not require a set amount, do need to make a living. If you are unsure about a stipend, ask them. Some organizations with spiritual directors on staff have a set stipend. If you are unable to pay the full amount, speak with them — many places offer scholarships or reduced fees.

Directories of Spiritual Directors

1.      Spiritual Directors International:  https://www.sdicompanions.org/find-a-spiritual-director-companion/
 
2.      Center for Christian Spirituality – USD Students Only: www.sandiego.edu or erinbishop@sandiego.edu
 

3.      San Diego Spiritual Directors: www.sdspiritualdirection.com
 
4.      Center for Spiritual Development: Sr. Sharon Becker at sbecker@csjorange.org
(Ask for list of possible spiritual directors located in your geographic area.)
 

5.      RSCI Spiritual Center, 4822 Del Mar Ave., San Diego, CA – (619-224-9444), https://www.spiritmin.org/
 

6.      Carmelite Monastery, 5158 Hawley Blvd., San Diego, CA – (619-280-5424)
 

7.      Prince of Peace Abbey – (760-967-4200)
 

8.      Mission San Luis Retreat Center: www.sanluisrey.org

9.      Call your local parishes. Remember, not all pastors are spiritual directors, and some parishes may have an extensive list compared to others. Calling around is important. https://sdcatholic.org/find-a-parish/
 

10.  Contacting Religious Orders for Men and Women in the Diocese of San Diego can also be a resource place to look. They may have spiritual directors or know of people who are. https://sdcatholic.org/diocese/clergy/vocations/religious-orders/