Spiritual Direction

What is Spiritual Direction?

Spiritual direction is the process of working with a guide to help you in your pursuit of holiness. A spiritual director does just that. He or she directs you, sometimes over a short period of time (like at a retreat) and sometimes long-term. A spiritual direction session can cover any number of things: your prayer life, movements of consolation and desolation, spiritual joys and difficulties. All this, of course, requires a great deal of trust, humility, and honesty. But if you’re serious about holiness, finding a spiritual director is a great step to take.

How to Find A Spiritual Director?

• Pray
• Start with Who You Know
• Ask Around
• Search the Web

First Meeting with Spiritual Director

When meeting with a potential director for the first time or two, don’t be afraid to ask questions of them and their experience. This can help weed out directors who might not be a best fit for you. Before meeting them, ask them, over the phone or via email, about their own prayer life or about their favorite devotions. If they are a lay person, ask them where their training came from and do your research on the place that formed them.

What if You Don’t Click?

If you feel a director isn’t right for you, it’s okay to look for another. Sometimes a director’s personality or style just doesn’t work with yours, and that’s fine. Don’t be afraid to be choosy if the first director you see doesn’t work for you. Finding a spiritual director is like finding a therapist or a doctor. You want one who knows what they’re doing and who you’re comfortable with!

Praying for Your Spiritual Director

When you’ve found a good spiritual director, make them worth your while and theirs. If your first session goes well, show initiative and interest by requesting another meeting. Obey your director. Follow their advice. Pray how they want you to pray. Pray for them. If they give book recommendations, read them. Be honest and open with them. Your director is (hopefully) wiser than you. Take their guidance to heart!

Compensation and Spiritual Direction

Most priests and religious do not ask for compensation for spiritual direction. It’s part of their vocation and ministry. While compensation might not be expected, it’s always appreciated! There’s a set amount that you “should” give to your director. Give what you’re able. Give after every session, or give a set amount every few sessions. Lay spiritual directors although do not require a set amount, do still need to make a living. If you are unsure of the stipend, ask them. Some organizations who have spiritual directors onsite, generally have a stipend set, but speaking with the location if you are unable to make full payment is important, as most places offer scholarships and reduced fees.

Directories of Spiritual Directors

1.      Spiritual Directors International:  https://www.sdicompanions.org/find-a-spiritual-director-companion/
 
2.      Center for Christian Spirituality – USD Students Only: www.sandiego.edu or erinbishop@sandiego.edu
 

3.      San Diego Spiritual Directors: www.sdspiritualdirection.com
 
4.      Center for Spiritual Development: Sr. Sharon Becker at sbecker@csjorange.org
(Ask for list of possible spiritual directors located in your geographic area.)
 

5.      RSCI Spiritual Center, 4822 Del Mar Ave., San Diego, CA – (619-224-9444), https://www.spiritmin.org/
 

6.      Carmelite Monastery, 5158 Hawley Blvd., San Diego, CA – (619-280-5424)
 

7.      Prince of Peace Abbey – (760-967-4200)
 

8.      Mission San Luis Retreat Center: www.sanluisrey.org

9.      Call your local parishes. Remember, not all pastors are spiritual directors, and some parishes may have an extensive list compared to others. Calling around is important. https://sdcatholic.org/find-a-parish/
 

10.  Contacting Religious Orders for Men and Women in the Diocese of San Diego can also be a resource place to look. They may have spiritual directors or know of people who are. https://sdcatholic.org/diocese/clergy/vocations/religious-orders/